Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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