Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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