FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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