I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
