Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
