he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
