Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
