Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
foreskin is a definite game changer
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
