It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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