We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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