Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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