I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
