Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
