i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
