They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
