brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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