Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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