Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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