If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
