If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize