wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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