can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
