i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
