Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
