I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
