This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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