There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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