I wish I only lived at night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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