we're blogging at a bar
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
