is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
