No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize