just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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