You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
