God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
