I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I believe in your delicious
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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