I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
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Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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