Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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