What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As shirtless as possible
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
