just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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