just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
