My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
