Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
