Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
