i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
