You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
