Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
