she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
