im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
