I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize