i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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