Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
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There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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