I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
