Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
