Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
