dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
