Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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