Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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