I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
