Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I believe in your delicious
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
