I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
