So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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