WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize