I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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