After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
